More Skate - Less Hate
ok - so I wrote this poem when I was 18, it sucks
One day a fellow told me
Life’s a Bitch and then you die
And I knew right then and there
It was my quest to find out why
I used to sit and wonder
Why my mother had given birth
To just an average guy
With no purpose on this earth
And then one day it hit me
As I was standing there
The guy upstairs must love me
More than I can bear
He gave me a special talent
A skill that was so great
Lest only a few did have it
The ability to SKATE
So to the streets I went
With his presence feeling near
And many tricks did I perform
I skated with no fear
In no time I had mastered
Every trick upon the streets
And people came to watch
My death-defying feats
A half pipe stood before me
A quarter pipe to my right
I simply closed my eyes
And let HIM control my flight
The people watched in awe
As I topped of my last trick
And hand plant on the half pipe
With a triple-twisting kick
A pool was next upon my list
Of things that I must rule
With god as my co-pilot
And my skateboard as my tool
A slider in the six foot
A three-sixty in the eight
A massive crowd had gathered
To watch me ride my skate
The crowd began to shout
As I wailed upon a wall
Never once did I consider
Any moment I could fall
Quite soon the people realized
There was nothing I had not tamed
They knew that I was different
And MASTERSKATER I was named
Then a fellow did approach
And said “What have we here?”
“Why have all these people come?”
“To watch a skating Queer?”
Up to me he did walk
And said “I am the best!”
“Go get your skate” I did say
“I’ll lay your doubts to rest”
And with that statement he looked at me
And much to my surprise
There seemed to be a reddish glow
Deep within his eyes
The crowd and I did follow
The fellow decked in black and red
“Most people call me Luther”
He turned to me and said
Finally he just stopped
Where we were I did not know
The crowd just watched me stand there
Sizing up my foe
And there it stood before me
Such an awesome sight
A Half Pipe that was Unparalleled
Over a Hundred feet in height
Luther reached within his vest
And with drew his pride and joy
A high-tech detailed skateboard
Made of some unknown alloy
Then he stepped upon the ramp
And said “I’ll start this fight!”
And to the top he went
He held his skateboard tight
Down the ramp he came
A spin, a turn, a flip
His skate remained intact
As if treated with PolyGrip
Back up the ramp he went
And launched into the air
Defying laws of Gravity
He didn’t seem to care
Spinning wildly in the air
His back about to snap
He flashed the finger to the crowd
And prepared to finish his attack
He floated like a feather
From the air down to the ground
Then bowed to the massive crowd
To show he was safe and sound
The crowd began applauding
Luther’s awesome skating show
He then offered me the stage
For it was my time to go
So to the Pipe I went
With my bitchin’ board
Massive air I achieved
Into the air I soared
And to this day I don’t recall
Beginning my decent
Higher and higher I did go
Into the clouds I went
I realized I was floating
Like a balloon into the sky
Until a giant gate I saw
Guarded by some guy
Up to the man I walked
His face I thought I knew
“Who the fuck are you?”
St. Peter then apologized
And opened up the gate
He said it was my purpose here
To teach Heaven how to skate
I asked St. Peter if he had heard
About the contest down on the planet
He offered me a challenge
To find a soul that hadn’t
And then I asked St. Peter
Who had won the test of skill
He said it was a draw
For both of us were killed
It seemed that I was wrong
And I finally did come down
But landed upon poor Luther
And drove him deep within the ground
But St. Peter reassured me
And said it was O.K.
“Luther broke a promise”
“And in the ground he is to stay”
Then he took me to HIM
The BIG MAN in the chair
As I got a little closer
I saw he had no hair
He wasn’t what I had pictured
Or the God I thought I knew
Wearing Vans and a flannel shirt
He was a skater too!
I kneeled down right before him.
“Father” I then said
“Don’t call me that you dipshit!”
“My friends all call me Skinhead!”
Then he reached behind his throne
And withdrew his Holy Skate
“The time has finally come” he said
“No longer can I wait”
Now every day we skate together
Always side by side
With all of Heaven behind us
Upon the clouds we ride
But sometimes we look down
And see the world and all it’s hate
“The world would be a better place” he says
“If everyone would skate”


© 1987 - Chickenwarrior